Motherhood~There is no more demanding work in all the world, no more awe-inspiring job description than raising godly seed. It will challenge all the genius, talent and grace that any human being could possess… It is the highest calling any woman can enter. ~Walter J. Chantry


Not Deserving

Boy this summer has been a busy one. I don't remember ever being so busy. But that's okay. Its also been a memorable summer. As the summer winds down, it does seem as though some things are getting even more busy! It probably has something to do with my brother in law getting married in a couple weeks and we are moving. As I type, we are moving I still cannot believe we are actually doing it. What seems like a little step for so a huge gigantic move for our family. And we are just moving 3 miles away!! LOL. We've been sorting and purging around here, don't want to lug everything with us over to our new home, of course but we haven't really even dug into the real, nitty gritty of moving yet and I must say I am not looking forward to it.
I am excited to move but at the same time my worrisome, anxious personaltity gets the better half of me. I feel like who I am and what I advocate: simpleness and natural living clashes somewhat with this move and construction and renovation of our new home. Don't have me explain it because I can't so easily into words you'll understand but I can sum it up pretty much as I feel guilty! I don't deserve it all. I am so unworthy. But as I mull those words over in my mind and wonder why I feel that way I feel pretty foolish all at the same time. I mean, God really must be  laughing at me! I am undeserving and unworthy of A LOT...and if I want to start with the material things God has blessed us with I have got it all wrong. I mean, for instance. I am saved! Born again into the kingdom of God! Do I deserve that? No, I don't for sure. But by God's grace and mercy He came down from Heaven and died on the cross for who? ME! (and you!) I accepted His free gift and now enjoy all the benefits of being a christian but I certianly don't deserve it. So, I realized my grumbling and worrying about all these wordly pursuits and gains is very selfish of me. I better get to spreading Christ's light then wasting my time trying to second guess God's plan for our family. Which, by the way is pretty exciting and confusing all at the same time. I'll leave it to God to pave my path in this world. Well, at least I will give it a shot.

1 comment:

Sarah beth said...

Well I think you have the right idea, do not second guess HIS plan for you. Then again I understand the guilty part, I think as women we have that feeling built in us. I am always feeling that way from the littlest things to the big. I just keep the thought that I am to cast out all my anxiety to HIM and also to walk by faith and not by sight. Those scriptures bring comfort to me!! Oh and I will say this..every woman deserves a beautiful home! :))