I just wanted to brag a moment on my wonderful midwives I am seeing. I am so pleased with the care I am recieving this third pregnancy. I am truly excited for my labor to begin. I can't say I've ever said that and truly meant it for any of my other two pregnancies. My first pregnancy, 5 years ago I was very unprepared. I did little reading (real reading, that is. I did read a lot of pregnancy magazines!) and I did little researching. I trusted my doctor completly and believed everything she said: hook, line and sinker! Of course, she was luckily for me a pretty great doctor and for the most part my birth was fine. I delivered a beautiful 9lb. 7 oz. baby boy vaginally and recovered wonderfully. I was never 100% satisfied with my birthing journey although I was always thankful for the healthy baby I recieved in the end. But, I was so scared and I was so dependent upon the medical staff around me at the hospital. Looking back now, I realize my epidural and just being plain ol scared was what caused my entire labor to just stop for hours. I was also never able to establish breastfeeding and I suffered from terrible post partum depression that summer. My second birth, I sought out a compleltly different type of care: I wanted to birth at home with a midwife. Again, I was slowly learning but still not fully aware of everything as I should of been. There were warning signs along the way that I chose to ignore and again, I trusted everything my midwife said, completly. I started to show some bad signs later in my second/third trimester with bleeding. I went to the local ER several times to be told I had a slight placenta previa. I really had no idea what that even meant. My midwife told me I would still be able to deliever at home. She said the placenta was only covering a tiny bit of my cervix. I thought ok!! But the bleeding got worse and worse and finally I went into labor, still bleeding. She came over and after an exam said it was up to me what I wanted to do. I just didn't know what to think, after thinking for 8.5 months I was going to have a homebirth! I had even had the birth pool set up in my living room! She never declared I should go in to the hospital, never gave any real solid advice on what to do. Finally, the Lord took it in His own hands and I passed out very quickly from the blood loss. An ambulance was called and what seemed like seconds later I had another healthy boy! Of course, I was very dissapointed by having to have a c-section but I knew it was what had to be done. There was no other choice. Not really any what if's to consider. It was neccesary. Of course, my recovery was much different with this birth but the Lord God blessed me with an easy breastfeeding experience and I still know to this day that is why I never struggled with post-partum deppression like I did with my first birth. I still admire and love to hear of women who have homebirths and maybe one day--I will be able to have one. I was just an unlikely candadite. With better care, I believe my midwife could of prepared me better and maybe the c-section wouldn't have came as such a shock if she was more candid and thorough. I believe there are awesome homebirth midwives out there that would have handled the situation much better and I just chose the wrong care.
So, 2 much different pregnancies later and my third on the way I still had the desire to seek out a natural, gentler way of birth. I in no way wanted to repeat a c-section and I still in no way wanted to have a birth like my first: so full of intervetions and out of my control. A wondeful friend of mine from church recommended a group of doctors/midwives she had used. Aha! I clicked right away with them and knew in my heart they were a perfect fit. There are two midwives in the practice: Mary and Sarah and each one is so special and compassionate in their own ways. They deliever out of an alterntive birthing center in a hospital but because of my previous c-section I am excluded from using that part, and will have to birth in the hospital. But I am in such glory that I can actually try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after ceseran) with these wonderful midwives I do not care! They are wonderfully supportive and gentle and informative and I actually do not fear labor this time around. I feel very informed, from having their sources and information and from doing my own researching and digging. I feel like I know what I want and why!! My desire is to have a natural birth~ I want to push my baby into this world, feel what my body was created to do without being drugged and not-feeling. Normally, that's a scary thought for me but I have finally put mind over matter. Unless, something happens with my body and baby that is out of my control (which I will fully accept, come the time) I know I can have the birth I desire. Of course, I am doing a lot of praying and self-examining spirtiually. With the pregnancy of my second, I was a bit out of touch with the Lord and I think some of my extreme complications arose because I was out of fellowship with God at the time. Pride, also played a big part.
Anyway, just wanted to get that out of my system! :D I cannot wait to be a mother to 3!