Out of the Loop

Well.. it's been a long time since I've sat down and blogged. Want to know why? Well, we moved. And... my husband and I decided it would be nice to have an internet free home. I know that sounds crazy..and I suppose it is in this technology driven world we live in. And I'll even admit I wasn't completly on board when he first proposed the idea, some months back now.

Luckily for him (haha) I was deep in the middle of reading, Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. This book was a huge eye opener for me and I was so moved and changed by reading the book~ even before I got to the last page. There was no way I was going to put up a stink about getting it turned back on when he had so plainly told me he felt God would not want us to have it in our home any longer. Of course, I did challenge him on it and told him how I felt (how could I LIVE without internet!!??) but I did it so without nagging and badgering him and when he again told me his wishes I left it at that.

Well, some many months later I am here (thru the power of wi-fi) to tell you I LOVE the internet not being in my home. Sure, there are things I miss.. like logging in on a whim and looking up something, buying cheap books from half.com (hehe), and other misc. things but I can honestly tell you there are ways to do without it. I gained a lot of free time in the evenings which I filled with reading of God's Word and journaling, getting ahead on projects, and get this... READING BOOKS.. haha, I have picked up old books from my library and have started books that have never even been opened yet, lol..

I guess you could say I am a poor manager of time. There I said it, it's out there for everyone to know. As much as I love the internet, I didn't know how to manage it--plain and simple. Now, instead of rushing over to the computer to check my facebook after lunch I am cleaning up and having better conversations with my children. I'm not leaving the mess for later I am ahead and getting more done in the home!

I did feel cut off at first.. but the ones I care about most I can still talk to. And I haven't deleted anything so I can still check accounts if I go to the library or get wifi access somewhere. But let me share this with you: when I first checked my mail and went online while on vacation via wifi it took all of 10 minutes.. I didn't have the desire to surf the web and do all things I used to. The Lord will truly teach you to be content if you lean on Him for all your desires.. and if your in His will.

So, I hope to still blog here and there.. in the meantime please know where I am.. I am also trying to write at home and put together a small (SMALL) book of devotions for mothers to fill my hunger for writing..

Blessings to You!

6 years ago...

Six years ago I welcomed Chad Herbert Jr. into this world! My life was never the same again and it was certainly for the better! I can't believe it has been six years, they have been wonderful. I reflect often how fast the years go and it makes me so sad to see him (and my other two boys) grow and change....of course, it is exciting at the same time so I treasure each moment God gives to me with them. I kiss their tears away, laugh at their silly songs and jokes, and relish each hug and kiss.

Six years. Wow. Chad has grown into a little man, recently and surprises me with his deep and mature conversations. His big heart shows through every day as he takes care of his younger two brothers tenderly and lovingly. He is creative and bright. Respectful and patient. God is working in his heart and I see it everyday.


I love you so much, little Chad!! God has HUGE plans for you--I can't wait to see!
With ALL my LOVE, Mama~




Here is Chad Jr's birth story written by our wonderful doula at the birth, Nicole Murn!

Birth Story for Chad Herbert Reiser Jr.

May 21, 2005

Dear Chad Jr. :

                The day that you came into the world was the most anticipated day in your parents’ whole life.  Never have I seen two more excited parents to be.   They exerted an air of peace and hope and pure anxiousness to meet their precious son.

                Your Dad called me at 10:30 am on Friday May 20, 2005.  He told me that your Mom was having contractions every 10 minutes.  I told them to hang out at home, eat lunch and rest…  Looked like today was the day you were making your entrance.  I talked to the two of them on and off all day.  She was resting and handling her contractions like a champ.  At around 6:00 pm, they became a bit restless, as expected.  They called me and told me that the nurses had called them and told them that there scheduled induction at 8:00 pm that night would have to be pushed back to 10:00 pm.  This was a good thing for your Mom.  You just weren’t ready to come quite yet.

                So at 11:00 pm your Mom and Dad were settled into a hospital room at St. Mary Mercy Hospital in Livonia.  Her doctor came in and checked her and she was dilated to 3 centimeters and 90%effaced.  That was so encouraging for her!  At 12:30 am her doctor, Dr. Dimon, broke her water in order to speed up her labor a little bit.  Your Dad called me back and told me to rest and not to come to the hospital just yet.  At 1:30 am, he called again and said that your Moms contractions were a lot more intense than they had been before and could I come to the hospital now.  I packed my things and off I went.  I was so excited to meet you! 

                When I got there your Mom and Dad were so excited but tiring very quickly.  They had both been awake all day and hadn’t slept at all so they were fading fast.  She was in a bit of pain so we were changing positions, doing massages and focusing through each and every contraction.  Your Mom labored without any pain medication until 5:00 am.   At that point she was too tired to continue.  She had a fever and was given antibiotics and she requested that she be given Nubane.  It allowed her to sleep until 7:50 am.  Then she awoke in more pain than before.  She was checked again and was dilated to 5 centimeters and 100 % effaced. 

                An anesthesiologist came and administered an epidural to your Mom at 7:50 am.  That way she wasn’t feeling contractions anymore and she could sleep in order to get ready for your arrival.  Your Daddy and I went to have breakfast while she was resting.  We talked for a while and although he was so tired, there was still such an air of excitement.

     At 10:30 am, your Mom woke up and was checked again.  This time we had great news! She was dilated to 8 centimeters!!!  Good job little one.  You were working hard to come out, but something happened after that check.  Your Moms labor completely stopped.  No one knew why but she didn’t have any change at all for 2 hours.  So, she was given Pitocin to start things again.  It was time for you to arrive. 

               

                Pitocin was given to Mom at 12:30 and by 3:00 pm she was telling me that it was time to push, she couldn’t sit still.  Looked like the moment of your big arrival was finally here. 

               

                So, the nurses came in and your Daddy and I took our places on either side of Mom and she pushed.  She pushed so hard for 2 hours.  Daddy and I kept telling her what a good job she was doing and how you were coming.  Your Daddy was nothing but sweet to your Mommy.  He told her over and over again that he loved her, that she was wonderful, that he was so proud of her.  They never could have done this without one another.

                At 5:17 pm, a blessing was bestowed upon your parents.  You were born weighing in at 9 lbs, 7 ounces and 20 inches long.  You were beautiful.  Daddy cried, Mommy cried and so did I.  You were just perfect.  You were placed on Mommy’s chest where she and Daddy could take a quick look at their little blessing.   You had a full head of hair and the first thing Mommy said to you was “I love you so much. I cant believe you are here”. 

After the nurses checked you out, it was determined that you had a fever from Mommy’s fever.  So they told Daddy that you needed to go to the nursery and get some antibiotics just to make sure you were ok.  They handed you to Daddy and told him to let your Mommy kiss you and say goodbye for a few minutes.   They were a little scared but I reassured them that it was ok and that you would be taken care of.  I knew you were a strong little guy.

So, Daddy took you to Mommy and she and him told you that they loved you and would see you soon.  They thanked God for you and they both kissed you and then each other.   It was a sweet moment that I was blessed to witness. 

Amanda, Chad, and Chad Jr. Thank you so much for allowing me to be blessed with this awesome experience.  As a couple, you are inspiring.  You are the best team I have ever seen and you have a beautiful new addition to your family.  I wish you nothing but the best and all the blessings in the world.  Thank you for showing me how having so much faith can lead to such a great reward.    

All My Love,

Nicole L. Murn

One of those weeks .....AND weekends

Hmmm you can probably guess already my week has been a little crazy! It's just simply been, one of those weeks! And it carried it's crazy self right into the weekend!

It's been one thing after another. Starting off Monday it was a prettty normal and typical week. Then as the days went one...things kept starting to get a little more stressful. I was hoping for a little relaxation this weekend but come Saturday, Elijah got sick and he's been on my hip in the sling ever since. He is such a good natured baby, he really is. Even when he is sick, bless his heart, he doesn't cry and whine. Just wants to be held. Just wants to snuggle and nurse. So, I try to comfort him best I can and give myself to him as he needs. Then, when he finally dozes I try to get everything else done around the house. Needless to say, our house is a mess!! :-P

Parenting--mothering means less of me--more of ....children!! (DUH!) Not just when they are sick, but when they're hyper, happy, sticky, giggly, squirmy, grumpy, and sad. Children grow quickly, they are ever changing and ever learning. I love that I do not have to send them away to a public or private institution where I would hardly get to see them throughout the day and miss the the little things they do and say!

The thought that crossed my mind this week and particularly this weekend when Eli got sick is I can thow a tantrum and cry and shout all I want too but having a pity party isn't going to accomplish anything or make anyone feel any better. The mother's attitude sets the tone for the home. Children observe closely and pick up a whole lot--even if you don't say a word.

Sure I've had a tough week. My house is messy, my hair is tangled, and my baby is feverish and teething. You don't envy me, I get it. But, I am right this moment counting my blessing once more again. And as I sacrifice little things throughout the 7 day week and my childrens growing up years, it's okay..it really is!! Mothering, as I have said before draws me to the Lord. Just like any saved believer, not only mothers--we are to shed the world and ourselves and draw closer to the Heavenly Father. We can never draw close to Him if we are filled with ourselves. I shed "myself" with each drippy nose I wipe, with each kiss I give away, and each time I take time to listen to my little ones.....I shed "myself" each time I teach a school lesson, vaccuum the carpet.....and even each time I serve and love my husband.

If you've had a hard week--Give it up to the LORD. And use it for His Glory!!

How Being a Mother Has Drawn Me Closer to God

Before I became a mother I was a very different person then I am today.

Before I got married, I was a very different person then when I was single.

From where I stand right now, this very day, I can look back in time and see where I have been and where I am now. I can see the changes and choices.

Every year, as Christians we should see change...positive change. A drawing nearer to the Savior. A releasing of the world and the things in it. By the Grace of God, I am so thankful to see a change in my life. Where I started, years ago I was rooted in baby Christianity. It was a stand still. There wasn't much change. I was a Christian but teetering as close as I could to the world without falling off. Passing by me, you might not have known I was a Christian.

Over the years though things started changing. There was yearning for something different. A desire to hear the Word and follow it. It has been a journey and it is being made alongside my husband. How dear it is to follow the Lord's path with your spouse by your side.

Well as the years have come and gone, I have been blessed with three little boys! What gifts to be entrusted with. And with motherhood, once again, the Lord uses it to draw women closer to the Lord. I know I am not the only one.

Motherhood changes and trasforms everything. Not just the things that are obvious or written about in pregnancy magazines.

Motherhood draws me closer to God .....

• By giving me more patience. Course, I don't have a perfect dose of patience yet. But, amen, I do have more patience then I did. Before I had children, I had very little patience. I was not one to hold my tounge or pray about something before making a decsion. Now, with little ones, esp. little ones that are in their early learning ages, I practice patience daily. Sometimes, making dinner takes a half an hour longer because little hands are measuring and mixing and mistakes are made. Often, patience is exercised all day long while correcting and diciplining. Who was it that said, practice makes perfect? That saying goes right along with patience. A mother's work is never done and there will probably never be a mother that has patience perfected, so to speak.  But us mothers sure have a great training ground.

• By helping me trust more in HIM then myself. Mothers have big loads. (And I don't just mean laundry) We carry burderns for our children's salvation, their walk with the Lord, their character, if homeschooling- their education, their social relationships, their health...well, you get my point. And so often, it is overwhelming. How many times can I remember taking my own problem and trying to solve it on my own? Many times. And how many times, did using my own solution work? It didn't. It made more of a mess usually and wore me out. Being a mother, there isn't enough time at hand to work out my own solutions for each of my children. I must give it all to Jesus. I know Jesus has a plan for each of my children, even myself and my husband. During weary and hard days, I have to look to Jesus and give Him by burdens. During joyful days, I give Him thanks and try not to take forgranted my blessings. This is a constant circle, a circle of trust, thanks and prayer. Being a mother I find myself on my knees, which helps for those times scrubbing the floor, too!! ;-)

• By giving me new priorities. Who would have thought five years ago, we would be homeschooling.  Things change! But believe me, for the good. As a single woman, I was very much wrapped into myself! It is funny to think about it now, even. The time spent looking in the mirror, checking makeup...reapplying coats of lipstick, ha! How long I spent on my hair or in the shower. Now, showers are much quicker, my make up routine has simplified, (and my husband likes the way I look this way better! Less is more!!) and my focus has opened up to not just me but my family. As a mother, I find myself always asking...is this more important or should I get down on the floor with the kids and play? Or is there time for the computer right now or do I need to get dinner started? Will this effect my children's worldview? The Lord gives us discernment if we are in tune with Him and often, my priorities are re-evaluted.

There are countless other ways motherhood has drawn me closer with the Lord. For each one I must give thanks...some are easy to speak of and others are not because they are the parts of motherhood that bring frustration, tears, heart aches, and pain. But our relationship with our children closely traces the relationship Jesus has with His Children. Next time you wipe your childs tears away, kiss a boo boo, rejoice over a victory won, or get that warm, swell in your heart watching them play sweetly with their sibling....Think of Christ. He watches from Above, cares for you, rejoices with you, has concern for you, is happy for you... And is always there to teach and mold you.

The Busy Hum of Life

It has a busy and full week! Every day practically there has been somewhere to go. I have an over flowing plate. Thus, we scramble on only for me to be reminded "less is more" sometimes! With a new homeschooling co-op, childrens gym classes/soccer, finishing up the final touches on our new home, packing, and getting involved with church ministrys it sometimes feels like I am actualy burning calories just by going throughout the day but I am trying to see the good in it and keep up with my kiddos...whew, I am starting to feel old some days LOL.

As I sit here in the complete darkness and still of the evening tonight--I am filled with a sense of contentment in our busy and full schedule. It reminds me that we are in the prime of our family-hood and that each busy day brings a blessing, a chance to interact with strangers and to witness Christ's Love. A lesson blooms from a totally unexpected event and my children are captivated. Busy, for right now in our lives, is okay.

As spring and summer approach the turn of events will slow down and I will welcome that, too. I'll be ever so happy for nowhere to go and to dig my toes in sand.....Warmer weather brings a whole new pallette of places to go and things to do but just in different paces...

God, Please help me to be satisfied in the busy hum of events that this winter has brought. Thank You Lord for laying on my heart the conviction to homeschool my sweet boys. Help me to be ready to teach my children life lessons out of anything that transpires and help me to be filled with Your holiness and mercy.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven {Ecclesiastes 3:1}

A Tribute to Ma

• My Great-Grandmother whom our family lovingly called "Ma" passed away in September 2008. Her birthday was February 12 so I thought I would post what I wrote about her for her funeral to honor her. She was such a dear woman and great grandmother. She held to the faith and was strong. I cannot wait til the day we are reunited in Heaven.

They say, when an elderly person passes away a whole library goes with them--this was certainly true for Ma.

 I don't know if you have a person in your life that this may remind you of but if they are still alive~ give them a phone call. Give them a hug. Let them know they are loved and cherished. Take your children to them, children grow and flourish under an elderly person's company.

Memories of Ma

In a lifetime of memories of Ma....there is no way I could ever express how special of a lady she was to me. I could write fifteen pages and not even come close to sharing with everyone how much I love her and how much she impacted my life over the years.

Some of the earliest memories of Ma start in the kitchen. Her baking was the best and she specialized in everything! She always baked for others and frequently delievered tins of cookies and scrumptious pies. She made one of the best rhubarb pies I have ever tasted. I still remember the tins she would bring by....layers of different cookies so delicately arranged and lovingly prepared. She knew all our favorites and never forgot to keep us supplied! I remember one holiday when my family ate at her house and she fixed up my plate with everything she had fixed and then sat it in front of me. "Eat up!" She told me. I never had a plate so loaded with food! I had no idea how I was going to get it all in, but somehow I managed! :)

Ma had a strong love in her heart for her family. Anytime one needed advice, she was there to listen. She wasn't one to beat around the bush and she often told you the way it was. And so often that was exactly what I needed to hear. She lovingly took time when I would visit with her to take an interest in my life, asking me about this or that...really, truly caring. And she did that with all of us, I know we could all name a time or two when Ma sat....and listened and asked....and we knew Ma really cared. It was a wonderful feeling.

Ma also had a great faith in her Lord and Savior. How often did I hear, I am praying for you? How many times did I hear her recite a verse from the Bible? But it wasn't just that. Her actions....her love for family and people spoke volumes of her relationship with Christ. She was generous, making sure people always had enough and always helping. She was a great woman of faith. When talking to Ma about the Bible or anything for that matter, she made stories and history come alive. She was so full of information. She was witty and smart and never stopped being that way, even to the end of her life.

I am so proud to have known Ma. Where would I be without her? She has influenced my life in so many wonderful ways. I strive to be more like her and to pass on the lessons she has taught me to my own children. I hope to always honor her memory by remembering her and not forgetting a single detail about her. I will always hear her laughter in my heart.

I cannot wait to see you again, Ma. I know  you have many heavenly riches because of how you lived down here.

I love you!

Propitiation



A couple years ago when Chad my husband and I were taking night classes at Bible college we were blessed to sit under a pastor and teacher who made the Bible come alive. He taught the book of John. Never had I studied the Word so intently and he taught us a whole new way to read the Bible and study it. This has remained with me since then and I now am a better Bible reader because of it.

One particular lesson we looked at Romans 3:25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;


The teacher went on to ask us what propitiation meant. Put it in your own words, he said. I felt really stumped. I had read this verse so many times, had seen the word, even felt as though I understood what the verse was saying but I couldn't exactly say what propitiation was! He then proceded to give an example, a picture of what propitiation was ....and I have never thought about the word and it's meaning the same since then.

This is the picture he gave to us:

Imagine you loaned someone 10,000. Loaned, not give. You didn't tell them when to pay back the money but it was expected. This particular person was really low on money, perhaps. Your more then happy to help out. Well, a couple months go by and you still have not recieved the money back.  You still give the person the benefit of doubt and don't worry about it. Six months later, no money returned. The person is actually starting to get back on their feet! This is truly good, you think...still giving him the benefit of doubt that your money will be returned. A year later, you run into the person and they are doing great! They are not having any more financial troubles and in fact, quite the opposite. Boy, you could really use the 10,000 by now and you mention the debt to the person. Quite relieved, he assures you the money will be paid back soon. A few more months pass on. Now it has been almost 2 years and you are still without the money. You no longer see this particular person anymore. It is like they are avoiding you...you try to call them. No answer. You try stopping by, no one comes to the door. In fact, you never hear from them again. No returned money.

Now fast foward 5 years. You've never seen that person since. Any time you think about your money and that person you get so ticked off. You wish you never, ever loaned that money out! It makes you livid! One day, the same person who you loaned the money to comes to your door. You can't believe it. 5 years later and here he is. Wow. Your angry. Your put out with disgust. How dare he, show up here after all the times you've tried to contact him!!!?? Asking him what he wants....and where he's been...he simply apologizes and gives you the money in an envelope. He leaves, he knows it's been too long and has ruined any friendship you may have had with him in the past.

You inspect the envelope, still irritated. Surprised, you pull out the check. WAIT. He has paid you back more then you loaned him....Your gasping for air now....The grand total is 100,000 dollars!!! You are amazed and totally shocked and giddy!

Now, think on this. If the man were to have paid the money back...10,000 only--you still would have accepted the money back, yes of course. But you would have still been irritated, surely. If he would have paid you the money and interest you would of been happy to see the money but most likely still ticked off and thinking why did he avoid me for so long still???  But him paying 100,000 dollars...well, that was above and beyond what you loaned him. That soothed your anger, made you forget about the years in between the loan. It was more then enough to satisify you.....more then enough to make peace. In fact, all you can do now is think about the 100,000 dollars!

In the same likeness, God sent Jesus Christ to die on a cross for our sins! Jesus' blood appeased God...Only a Perfect, Sinless Sacrafice would do. God was angry at mankind for their sinfullness and disobedience. But when Jesus came and died for humanitys sins God's wrath was satisfied. It was more then enough!!!!!!

I hope this story helps you a little better understand the word propitiation. Maybe you can tailor this story for your children and share it with them. If nothing else, I hope your able to give God glory today thinking about propitiation! ;-)
For more on propitiation and Jesus' FREE gift to you click here

{Baby Love}

 Saturday evening, I fell prey to a stomach virus. I was knocked out by this and spent Sunday lounging around, weak and tired but thankfully holding down food. My husband dressed and took the boys to church with him and on his bus route so I was only left with baby Elijah. We had a sweet morning together, being lazy together. It was a much needed restful day! I don't know how such a tiny little soul can bring such a big peice of joy to someone like he does, but I won't try to deny it. He fills me up to the brim with such joy! Packaged up in fuzzy blue pajamas, he definitely gave me much needed medicine today--

Thank God for little ones....

All Smiles




Silly Boy



Learning to be a Healthy Chef

Well, it has taken many years but finally it is starting to sink in that the way we have been eating in our home is a lot more then just un healthy...it is damaging our health for our future years.

I have always thought that the way I prepare foods has been extremely healthy. I have been on WW (Weight Watchers) for almost 3 years now. I know how to calorie count and get the most bang for your calorie, so to speak! I can make a wonderful casserole with out a lot of added fats, etc. BUT, I have been adding GMO's and other fat free and calorie reduced ingredients that are harmful! You see, I have been cooking and keeping the weight managed but at the same trading evil for evil.

This last summer and come now fall I have been having my eye balls opened WIDE and I have started to make some drastic changes. Of course, I cannot do them all at once but slowly I am restocking my kitchen with healthier foods and ingredients. Out with items that have aspartame in them, high fructose corn syrups...out with frozen entrees that have MSG and other high sodium products. Now, I am in the kitchen configuring ways to still cut the cals and trim up the recipe but with using healthier methods. More olive and canola oils, organic meats and eggs, whole grain, wheat, high fiber breads.

Don't get me wrong it's HARD at times! I want to sometimes run to the store and grab some reduced cal low sugar chocolate ice cream bars and eat the entire box! But, I know this eating lifestyle is not just about me but about my children and their HEALTH! I am still following the WW plan but using more of my brain now to tell me...is this really HEALTHY?

We are still learning...I am sure there will never be a day we have perfected what we eat 100% but God tells us in His Word that our bodies are the temples of the Holy Ghost! Our bodies are not ours, but HIS! (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) I need to keep that truth in mind as I go to the grocery store and pick out foods.

I am excited to have found a farm that raises their own meats to purchase with out antibotics and on grass feeds. They have a share-type program that we hope to be getting involved with soon. All this was found by a prayer--Lord, help me please to know where to shop and what to get. This is all so confusing! The next day, this organic farmer and his family were thrown (well, not litterally thrown!) in my pathway!

I hope to encourage others to eat healthier and to reap all of God's health blessings along the way!

Nursing

God is really amazing. I could start each blog out with that sentance about anything but I just want to say nursing rocks. In every shape and form. Besides its awesome health benefits for mom and baby that just would blow your mind and not be able to fit in my little blog~~it is just a dear, sweet gift from the Lord to be able to nurse my baby. It calms me, it calms him. It makes us sleepy so we fall into sweet slumber together..arms wrapped around eachother. It reassures me, it reassures him. He feels happy and secure as he suckles (or sometimes guzzles) his milk and in return makes me feel exactly the same. Some people view nurisng as a pain and I have recieved more then enough critical and disgusted comments about breastfeeding. What a waste of time, I sure couldn't do it...blah blah blah. I think it is sad we have come to a time when breastfeeding is viewed in such a negative light. Nursing my little one feels like the best gift I can give him right now besides prayer. Which by the way, coinside with eachother!! :~) I can also nurse him anywhere I go..doctors office, playgrounds, shopping...its meals on wheels. Of course, it took me time with my second son, Noah to gain confidence in nursing in public but with Elijah Charles' I feel much more at ease and why shouldn't I? My baby needs to eat and so I feed him. I believe it can be as simple as that if we just stopped over analyzing it. Nursing provides a happy tummy, heart, and much much more. The bond created by nursing is like that of a steel beam. It cannot be broken. I fall in love with my nursling each time he latches on and we stare into eachother's eyes and then...everything is allright in the world.

Not Deserving

Boy this summer has been a busy one. I don't remember ever being so busy. But that's okay. Its also been a memorable summer. As the summer winds down, it does seem as though some things are getting even more busy! It probably has something to do with my brother in law getting married in a couple weeks and we are moving. As I type, we are moving I still cannot believe we are actually doing it. What seems like a little step for so many...is a huge gigantic move for our family. And we are just moving 3 miles away!! LOL. We've been sorting and purging around here, don't want to lug everything with us over to our new home, of course but we haven't really even dug into the real, nitty gritty of moving yet and I must say I am not looking forward to it.
I am excited to move but at the same time my worrisome, anxious personaltity gets the better half of me. I feel like who I am and what I advocate: simpleness and natural living clashes somewhat with this move and construction and renovation of our new home. Don't have me explain it because I can't so easily into words you'll understand but I can sum it up pretty much as I feel guilty! I don't deserve it all. I am so unworthy. But as I mull those words over in my mind and wonder why I feel that way I feel pretty foolish all at the same time. I mean, God really must be  laughing at me! I am undeserving and unworthy of A LOT...and if I want to start with the material things God has blessed us with I have got it all wrong. I mean, for instance. I am saved! Born again into the kingdom of God! Do I deserve that? No, I don't for sure. But by God's grace and mercy He came down from Heaven and died on the cross for who? ME! (and you!) I accepted His free gift and now enjoy all the benefits of being a christian but I certianly don't deserve it. So, I realized my grumbling and worrying about all these wordly pursuits and gains is very selfish of me. I better get to spreading Christ's light then wasting my time trying to second guess God's plan for our family. Which, by the way is pretty exciting and confusing all at the same time. I'll leave it to God to pave my path in this world. Well, at least I will give it a shot.

It's Been A Long Time!

Wow, it has been a while since I have been able to get on here and write a little. Since my last entry, a lot has happened! We welcomed 10 lb and 5 ounces of sweet baby love into our lives! Elijah Charles was born on May 14! A wonderful labor I had indeed, without drugs or interventions. Soon I will finish writing out my birth story and post it here. So I had a VBAC! YAY! I had many a doubts but with all the prayers being sent out and my amazing team of midwives and awesome doula I was able to achieve the most amazing birth. I joked a couple weeks after Elijah Charles was born that I was on  birth high..well get me talking about my birth even now and I still feel the high! LOL. Anyway, he is incredibly healthy and sweet. He is calm and he is good natured and I feel so blessed to be called his mother. Since he has such an easy going personality I am able to get all my sleep and take care of the boys pretty much as normal. I am really enjoying my bundle and I am enjoying motherhood so much. God is so good! I feel like my cup runneth over with all God's goodness' to me! We've been enjoying this summer...it's been a lazy one with one newest addition just getting settled in.
Another change that's happening (and I never thought it would) is were moving! I can't believe it even as I type those words. We really struggled and prayed over this decsion but it basically came down to a few things. Living on a busy main road made us nervous with our children. Also, our home is snug. If we were to have no more children we could of made due fine but after Elijah Charles' birth I felt the Lord pulling on my heart quietly about having a big family. I felt the number six being burned in my mind. I don't know if we"ll end up having six children, but I need to keep my heart and spirit open to the Lord planning my family~ not me! Everything with this house we are moving to has fallen into place pretty much and so it looks as though with the extra bedrooms we'll be having a big family is probably woven into our future. We will have an acre lot which I am excited about...it will be hard to leave our current home though I must admit. It was my first "home" as a new wife and mother some 7 years ago and I will miss it. Cramped and all as it as now!! I will also miss our backyard as it backs up to my brother in law and his fiancee's home! It hurts to think about moving away from our neat little set  up and I am just relying on the Lord to heal the ouches along the way in this new transistion!
So thats about it in a nutshell right now...I have got to get back to my boys who are ravenous for some lunch right now!
I will post a pic of Eli soon!

Serving

When we raise our children, we train our children. This is a pretty basic concept, obviously we know this. But have you ever, as a parent thought about all the sacrifice you put into raising your children? Motherhood is a serving job, we give our all to be a mom and to help our children along life's way. Well, as we do this we are also training (although we may not acknowledge this verbally) our children to be serving. Our children see everything we do and begin to mimic this. We see this in their wanting to be more grown up and do tasks on their own or when they want to bake in the kitchen alongside us, etc. Have you ever taken the time out and looked at your children serving others? Perhaps your child has done something nice for their sibling or taken time out from what they are doing to see how you are feeling when it's been a trying day. Don't sell yourself short, mother! You are modeling a servants heart everyday for your child!
Something that comes to my mind is over the last few days I have been very tired and worn out. Chad Jr not only once but three times has given me out of the blue pick-me-up/feel better cards that he himself has created! They are such little treasures and I know he saw the joy in my eyes when he gave them to me. It may not seem like much, but coming from a 4.5 year old, those homemade cards where right from the heart and the best he could give me! The Lord also knew that of course, and they really did cheer me up!
I figure it is a good thing to be serving our children, of course not becoming slaves to our children--LOL but giving our all everyday in little things makes an impression upon a small child's heart. Soon, if you look you will see your child serving, too. The best is always yet to come, isn't that what they say? My husband looks forward (as much as you really can, anyway) to when hopefully his sons will take care of him. This is another thought, isn't it!? :) The ideas of this are endless, thank God for a serving mother's heart!!

Birth Thoughts from the Past and Future!

I just wanted to brag a moment on my wonderful midwives I am seeing. I am so pleased with the care I am recieving this third pregnancy. I am truly excited for my labor to begin. I can't say I've ever said that and truly meant it for any of my other two pregnancies. My first pregnancy, 5 years ago I was very unprepared. I did little reading (real reading, that is. I did read a lot of pregnancy magazines!) and I did little researching. I trusted my doctor completly and believed everything she said:  hook, line and sinker! Of course, she was luckily for me a pretty great doctor and for the most part my birth was fine. I delivered a beautiful 9lb. 7 oz. baby boy vaginally and recovered wonderfully. I was never 100% satisfied with my birthing journey although I was always thankful for the healthy baby I recieved in the end. But, I was so scared and I was so dependent upon the medical staff around me at the hospital. Looking back now, I realize my epidural and just being plain ol scared was what caused my entire labor to just stop for hours. I was also never able to establish breastfeeding and I suffered from terrible post partum depression that summer.  My second birth, I sought out a compleltly different type of care: I wanted to birth at home with a midwife. Again, I was slowly learning but still not fully aware of everything as I should of been. There were warning signs along the way that I chose to ignore and again, I trusted everything my midwife said, completly. I started to show some bad signs later in my second/third trimester with bleeding. I went to the local ER several times to be told I had a slight placenta previa. I really had no idea what that even meant. My midwife told me I would still be able to deliever at home. She said the placenta was only covering a tiny bit of my cervix. I thought ok!! But the bleeding got worse and worse and finally I went into labor, still bleeding. She came over and after an exam said it was up to me what I wanted to do. I just didn't know what to think, after thinking for 8.5 months I was going to have a homebirth! I had even had the birth pool set up in my living room! She never declared I should go in to the hospital, never gave any real solid advice on what to do. Finally, the Lord took it in His own hands and I passed out very quickly from the blood loss. An ambulance was called and what seemed like seconds later I had another healthy boy! Of course, I was very dissapointed by having to have a c-section but I knew it was what had to be done. There was no other choice. Not really any what if's to consider. It was neccesary. Of course, my recovery was much different with this birth but the Lord God blessed me with an easy breastfeeding experience and I still know to this day that is why I never struggled with post-partum deppression like I did with my first birth. I still admire and love to hear of women who have homebirths and maybe one day--I will be able to have one. I was just an unlikely candadite. With better care, I believe my midwife could of prepared me better and maybe the c-section wouldn't have came as such a shock if she was more candid and thorough. I believe there are awesome homebirth midwives out there that would have handled the situation much better and I just chose the wrong care.
So, 2 much different pregnancies later and my third on the way I still had the desire to seek out a natural, gentler way of birth. I in no way wanted to repeat a c-section and I still in no way wanted to have a birth like my first: so full of intervetions and out of my control. A wondeful friend of mine from church recommended a group of doctors/midwives she had used. Aha! I clicked right away with them and knew in my heart they were a perfect fit. There are two midwives in the practice: Mary and Sarah and each one is so special and compassionate in their own ways. They deliever out of an alterntive birthing center in a hospital but because of my previous c-section I am excluded from using that part, and will have to birth in the hospital. But I am in such glory that I can actually try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after ceseran) with these wonderful midwives I do not care! They are wonderfully supportive and gentle and informative and I actually do not fear labor this time around. I feel very informed, from having their sources and information and from doing my own researching and digging. I feel like I know what I want and why!! My desire is to have a natural birth~ I want to push my baby into this world, feel what my body was created to do without being drugged and not-feeling. Normally, that's a scary thought for me but I have finally put mind over matter. Unless, something happens with my body and baby that is out of my control (which I will fully accept, come the time) I know I can have the birth I desire. Of course, I am doing a lot of praying and self-examining spirtiually. With the pregnancy of my second, I was a bit out of touch with the Lord and I think some of my extreme complications arose because I was out of fellowship with God at the time. Pride, also played a big part.
Anyway, just wanted to get that out of my system! :D I cannot wait to be a mother to 3!

Busy Friday

Well today is Saturday morning and I feel like I need hmmmm about 4-5 more hours of sleep to feel fully rested!! Yesterday was very busy and tiring and I am still paying for it this morning as I sit here in my pj's and type.
The kids and I cleaned house some before I dropped Chad Jr off at Rebecca's house (his private teacher and great friend of our family).
Noah and I headed over to Target for some lunch and browsing then we went to Kolhs. I was looking for some specfic things but no luck. It was fun looking around anyway and I enjoyed the time talking with Noah. Usually, it's both children with me and we hardly have any one on one time, either way. It really took me back to when I was pregnant with Noah and Chad Jr and I would have weekly lunches out just him and I and talk about what it might be like when "new baby" was here! :) I cannot believe I am expecting my third baby and Noah is 2.5 years old already! Where does the time go? It really is like a vapor like the Bible declares.
While at the store, I started having incredibly painful nerve pains in my upper legs and knew it was time to leave, this usually indicates too much walking and time on my feet. I could hardly get out of the store fast enough! When we arrived home, I put Noah down for a nap and layed with him for a few minutes (oooh it felt so good!) I headed to our newly clean kitchen, we just got it all decluttered and looking good recently and started gettting my ham dinner ready. Meanwhile, Chad and Jerry (Rebecca's husband) are knocking at the door so I put everything down to greet Chad. I find out how his afternoon was and he comes with me into the kitchen to help me get things started. He insists I put a lot of pinapples on the ham and when I start pouring honey and brown sugar on it his eyes become wide like saucers lol. Needless to say he was a little hungry! ;) Noah then wakes up just as I put the ham in the oven and so I tell them they can both help me make some cinnamon bread. Many gooey moments later I tell the boys to go wash their hands while I finish up the crumb topping for the bread. I am left to a couple minutes alone listening to news radio when I turn down the volume to hear giggling and water splashing on the floor. Uh oh. I run to the bathroom to find the boys let the water overflow the sink and our bathroom was turning into a swimming pool. So, I was off to find some old towels and mop up the mess. I guess there is always a bright side to everything, my floor at least got a little shine. :D
Well, after the kitchen and bathroom got cleaned up we sat down to read some of their favorite books. We have a big bookcase in our living room filled with all sorts of different and interesting books but for whatever reason, the boys always pick the same books over and over again, hehe. Thinking about taking those books out for a couple weeks to what else they might be able to find!!!
Chad finally got home and jumped in the shower while the boys set the table and got the needed things out of the fridge. Chad's mom also joined us for dinner since the ham was so plentiful and we feasted, finally around 8...a late dinner for sure! Everything turned out tasty including his mom's special baked beans she brought over. Chad and I cleaned up together while Chad's mom played cars with the boys in their room. The rest of the night was pretty uneventlful but sweet.
I really love busy days like this one, although my aching pregnant body isn't too fond of them anymore. One of the biggest blessings is being busy, especially with little hands and feet around you. Of course, I was frustrated and tired more then one time but at the end of the day you feel satisfied. I love sharing with Chad all our funny mishaps and adventures. And when in bed, finally relaxing for the night I can especially apprectiate not doing anything! If all I did was lounge all day and do things for myself, (like days looooong ago!) truly relaxing and soaking in some real peace while reading and being with my hubby wouldn't be so special like it is now!!  Even looking back at the days events, I realize this Friday was not even the busiest or craziest of days I have ever had. In fact, most days are much more action packed. I think with my pregnancy coming to an end everything has a double the dose effect on me, lol...
Lord, thank You for busy days and my for my sweet kiddos who always keep me on my toes!

Spring, how beautiful is your Creator

Spring is such a great season. It's also a wonderful reminder for a Christian believer in the Lord. Spring, like everything the Lord God has created can pull us away from our materialistic worlds and bring us back to reflection. Every now and then, more often then I would care to admit I need a good reminding of what the Lord has done for me, starting with saving my soul. Remember the feeling when you first were saved? Excitment, hope, and eagerness to serve God. Often times, these feelings slip away with the everydayness of life and we settle into a routine that is blah and serves nothing but ourselves and our own pleasures. Spring can be, if we allow it, a opening of the eyes too look and see what the Lord has done! I'm eternally saved! There is nothing or anyone who can take my salvation away, for my name is written down in the Lamb's Book of Life! I have a wonderful family. A roof over my head, clothes on my back. Air to breath, eyes to see, and legs to carry me wherever I please. Even if we have very little in this mortal world, we have a lot because Jesus died on the cross to redeem us, we don't deserve it, not one little bit.

With the sun shining, the grass turning greener, and the leaves budding on the trees it's somehow easier to see God's promises and to get some fervor back in my walk with Christ. But, soon a restlessness will grow deep inside of me and it will be harder to have the same excitement everyday when I wake up. This is sinful and we need to be in constant prayer so we don't fall prey to it. God wants to be praised everyday, all the time. And he deserves it. I think it makes the Lord very sad when He see's His children become saved, serve Him with gladness (in all things!) then loose their zeal and fall into a medicore Christian life.

I hope to buried in the Word of God this spring and summer so I will always be reminded of God's goodness to me and my family. I hope to be a light shining to a dark world, I can only do this when I have Christ's light turned on--all the way! Lord, give me the dilligence to stay strong in your Word and see all the blessings clearly before me, everyday! I love you! Amen

First Entry!

Well, I am going to go ahead and give the world of blogging a shot. I used to blog way back when and sort of gave up the habit of typing my random thoughts down when I had my second child, so out of pure curosity to see if I can actually get back into the habit here I am! I could write amazing blogs if thought actually came out automatically but then that might be kind of scary at the same time, with out an edit or delete before it hits the screen!

Today is an amazingly beautiful day. It's March but feels like April or May which makes everyone feel a little more happier and hopeful that spring really is on its way. Chad and I took the boys to the park today and we were all able to strech out our legs and run around in the warm sun. It was nice and I am once again thankful for the opportunity to raise such sweet boys. Chad Jr. befriended another boy and it was cute to watch the way he interacted with the other boy, whom I think was a little younger then Chad Jr.

It made me think of all the hard work that mothers put into raising their children. There is so much sweat, blood, and tears so to speak (and quite litterally, too!) There are sleepless nights and dinners spent arguing with your toddlers to sit down, eat this, don't touch him!! There are are doctors visits and time when you don't have a single minute to rest....but even with all the work....and I have not even lived to see all of the "work" yet it is truly the most fufilling job ever. I have always been allured and facinated with the missionaries at our church. The lifestyle and the sacrifice they bring to a people who have not heard about the saving grace of the Lord Jesus. I think, now they are truly living out God's plan for mankind. I often dream of a day  that I will be able to serve the Lord in that way. How wonderful to serve along a fellow believer and dish out food to a hungry soul, then litterally be able to feed their soul with the Gospel, too! As I longingly (and quite oftenly!) dream of being a missionary I feel God nudge me and whisper, I have called you to be a missionary right in your own home....I came across this poem today and couldn't resist sharing it!

A MISSIONARY'S VISION


After marriage God called me to the mission field -


A little bundle needing all my care,


A disciple in touch with my life, obedient to all he hears.


Then came some more all in a row.


Everywhere I went, six little arrows in tow.


God had to call me again to His mission field.


I answered, "To China, to Africa, to Israel, oh where?"


His voice was clear, soft and gentle. My ministry arranged -


"My child, you are to polish our arrows,


Preparing them for My call to spread my


Words of life for other nations to see."


"Lord," I cried, "Loneliness surrounds my soul,


No other woman stands with me answering your call.


The sacrifice is great."


Women give way to another's voice, pulling them away


from their home, far from the quiver."


Once more I pleaded, "May I go too, Lord, I feel the call


To share with the lost, Life giving words,


To feed the hungry a satisfying meal."


"My child," Jesus replied, "You share with your


children salvation and truth.


Feed them meals under your roof.


Discipline them, train them and then lie down in peace,


For sacrificial love have you given to make the world right.


Arise in the morning, open My book,


Teach them into My eyes they must look."


"Yes, Lord, I replied, "But should I serve you in a more


obvious way?"


"Child, my sweet child," God spoke once more.


I anointed you to do this work - the high calling of Motherhood.


To show our children the need for my love."


"Lord,", I sought out, still not fully convinced,


"Should I sew for those in thread barren clothes,


a Dorcas, a Martha?" "Sit at my feet, my child, listen to me.


Your daughter needs dresses, your sons warm shirts,


The button of your husband's coat still lies on the table. Pick up your mantle, the rod of Aaron.


Lead my women back to their home.


"Yes, Lord." Filled and content, I took my position in God's mission field.


Hungry faces graced my bedside.


Clothed in God's mantle, children at my side,


I prepared breakfast.


By PAULA MULLER

You see, mother's today are often not envied or shown in the most positve, beautiful light. But mother's bear a tremedous responsibilty to train their children to go out into a dying, imperfect world and bear the light of Christ. I tremble thinking about how I often fail in training my own two boys but am renewed when I remember Christ is guiding my every step and fall along the way. Oh to be a missionary in a far way land! How exciting, yes! But God has already revealed to me my calling and while it isn't always glamourous it is a missionary position! "Lord, please make me into the mold You have set aside for me and other Christian mothers. Help me not yearn to be the world's image of a woman or mother today. Help me follow You boldly so my children may set out into this world and change it for You!!"

**Our children are the messages to the world we will not live to see!**